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Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and its characters are properties of Paramount Pictures.
Author's note: Much thanks to my Beta Reader. Ibagoalie, your comments and suggestions proved to be invaluable.
Rating: PG
A Tear by Eos
Kathryn heard a loud distant voice. She couldn't tell whom it belonged to nor what it was saying, but somehow it seemed to call her. She tried to respond, but no sound seemed to leave her throat. The voice grew louder, but still she couldn't understand a single word. Panic started to overwhelm her. Suddenly she saw a bright light coming towards her. It hit her and it brought an unimaginable wave of pain. Kathryn tried to scream, but once again she didn't make a sound. Suddenly everything went dark and quiet. There was no more pain.
"We've stabilized her, Commander. For now."
"Isn't there anything you can do?"
"Not now, I'm afraid," said the Doctor. "Every time I try to bring her out of coma, she goes into a cardiac arrest. In my opinion it will be too dangerous to try again soon. The Captain probably would not survive it."
Mr. Paris and the Doctor exchanged worried glances.
"Unless we find the weapon that was used on her, all we can do is wait, sir."
"Can I sit with her for awhile, Doctor?"
"Of course, Commander. But don't stay too long."
"Thank you."
In the dimmed lights of sickbay, only two figures were visible. The First Officer sitting on a chair holding a small hand of a woman lying still on a biobed. In this part of the ship even the steady hum of engines was dulled. The only sounds in the darkened room were caused by two people's breathing and a regular beeping of a monitor above biobed. Only her shallow breath and this beeping were indicating that she was still among the living. Chakotay closed his eyes. How many times did they face formidable enemies? The Kazon, the Borg, Species 8472, Hirogen... How many times were people injured and on a verge of death? Yet every time they'd beaten the odds, outwitted their enemies and the EMH usually managed new miracles to save their lives. There were casualties, of course. Through all the years here in this poor excuse of a quadrant Voyager's crew had lost many friends. Did they have to lose their Captain, too? Chakotay shook his head. This couldn't be happening. They couldn't lose Captain Janeway. He couldn't lose Kathryn. His companion, cherished friend and so much more. Not now, when there were so many unresolved things between them.
"Kathryn, please, come back to us, come back to me," he pleaded with a barely audible voice.
The Doctor glanced out of his office at 3 am. He could see the Commander still sitting by the biobed. EMH sadly shook his head and went back to work.
Exactly at 6 am Chakotay stepped out of the turbolift onto the bridge. His confident stance didn't betray any emotions he felt inside.
"Report."
"Long range scans confirmed readings from shuttle logs. We're following the alien ion trail at warp 5.8. Engineering reports full power should be restored by noon."
"Yesterday they claimed they needed at least 48 hours. Not that I'm complaining, but what miracle did our engineers pull off this time, Tuvok?"
"In my opinion, it is Lieutenant Torres doing, sir."
"B'Elanna should be off duty, Doctor's orders," stated a surprised Chakotay.
"She claimed she was much better than the Captain and was perfectly able to assist with the maintenance. I talked with the Doctor and he eventually agreed with it, albeit reluctantly. It would take an armed security detail to escort her from engineering and that wouldn't do much good for neither Lieutenant Torres nor the Captain."
"Sounds like B'Elanna's doing alright," the Commander smiled grimly. "And she's feeling guilty."
"It is illogical for Lieutenant Torres to feel guilty. The Captain's condition is not her fault. She was knocked unconscious after the shuttle had been hit. She couldn't help the Captain in any way."
"I know, Tuvok, and she knows it, too, but she won't stop feeling guilty until the Captain recovers."
"It is my opinion that no one on this ship will be at peace until the Captain regains consciousness."
Kathryn was lost. It was dark and cold. She could hear water drops falling onto a rocky surface, like in a cave. The air was sultry and stale. She needed to get out of there. She started moving, but she seemed to be walking in circles. She felt rising fear. She couldn't find a way out. She would die here, in this underground tomb. Kathryn started running, but it was too late. The air was becoming heavier every second. She felt she was suffocating. She screamed, as darkness overwhelmed her.
Chakotay said in his chair and took an engineering report. He made it to the second page before he realized he didn't remember a single word of it. His mind was still on the latest away mission which ended up in such a disaster.
***
Voyager had badly needed dilithium. This wasn't a new situation to them. They always needed some supplies. Seven localized a star system of eight planets 4.2 light years off their course. Scans showed a significant amount of dilithium on two moons orbiting the fifth planet. Since ship's resources were depleting fast, the most logical course of action was to take a shuttle to mine the mineral. They hadn't met any hostile species in this area, so it was safe for the Voyager to limp slowly at half impulse and wait for supplies. The Captain hadn't been off the ship for a very long time, and she jumped at a chance to get away for awhile. Chakotay didn't like the idea at all but couldn't find any reasonable argument for her not to go. He gave in more or less graciously. So Kathryn took B'Elanna and a shuttle and set a course for the system. Five days later they received a distress call. They powered the warp core and using the last of their dilithium they reached the shuttle. It's hull bore signatures of an alien weapon. Everybody on the bridge had collectively held their breaths until Harry detected two life signs. Shuttle's shields were down, so they beamed both women to sickbay the moment they were in range. There were no sign of their newest enemy, just a vague ion trail, which due to the lack of power they had no means to pursue. The engineering team found the much needed dilithium in the shuttle, and they immediately started working. If only the human body would be so easy to restore... Tom Paris was hailed to sickbay immediately after the beamout. When Chakotay finally managed to go there, he found B'Elanna sleeping peacefully on the biobed in the corner. His heart sunk as he saw the EMH and Paris working frantically on the Captain. He tried to ask about her condition, but all he'd got was a hurried "Not now" from Paris who was rushing with another odd-shaped neurostimulator to the Doctor. At least B'Elanna's injuries weren't severe, just a mild concussion and some bruises. When she regained consciousness she said their mission had been going right on plan until they saw alien ship on an intercept course. It must've been cloaked, because it showed only on short range visual scans. Before they managed to raise shields, the shuttle had been rocked by weapon's discharge. That was all B'Elanna remembered. Shuttle's logs and the Doctor's analysis provided the rest of the story. An alien had beamed onto the shuttle and shot Kathryn with some sort of neurogenic weapon. They weren't interested in the dilithium in the shuttle nor the data banks. They'd just disabled the crew and disappeared. And now Voyager needed to find them in order to save the life of Captain Kathryn Janeway.
***
"Torres to the Bridge."
"Chakotay here." Unexpected hail from the engineering roused the Commander from his sober thoughts.
"We'll be ready to restore full power at 11.00. At 10:55 we should slow to half impulse and then if everything goes well we'll be able to go at warp 9."
"Sounds good, B'Elanna. Bridge out." Chakotay sighed and went back to his forgotten report.
Kathryn was drowning. She felt the water choking her, getting into her lungs. Her frantic movements did nothing to stop her going under. She unsuccessfully tried to open her eyes. She panicked. She knew she was an excellent swimmer. So why couldn't she break through? Sheer terror overwhelmed her. Suddenly she didn't feel anything. Everything became still and quiet.
"EMH to Commander Chakotay. Report to sickbay at your earliest convenience."
"On my way, Doctor. Chakotay out," he closed the link half way to the turbolift.
Before he reached his destination, he recited in his head almost every prayer to the Spirits he could remember for the Doctor to have good news for him.
"Ah, Commander, how good you could come so quickly."
"What is it, Doctor? How is she?"
"Captain's condition is unchanged. However I've been monitoring her synaptic activity since she's been brought to sickbay. I think I've found something interesting."
"I'm all ears, Doctor," said Chakotay impatiently, albeit relieved that nothing wrong has happend to Kathryn since morning.
"Look, Commander," said EMH pointing to a peculiar curve on a monitor. "Do you see this pitch on the graph? It appears periodically and indicates that the Captain goes into something similar to REM sleep every 11 hours. I've never seen something like that before."
"You mean she has dreams?"
"According to the changes in heart rate and blood pressure, they're more like nightmares."
"Will it somehow help to bring her back?" Chakotay asked hopefully.
"That's what has been bothering me all this time. During this 'dreams' her vital signs and brain activity become stronger. If I could properly stimulate her cerebral cortex at that time, she theoretically should break out of coma. However, I must be extremely careful not to cause her to go into a cardiac arrest. We've been there before, as you remember. However, if I knew more about the weapon, it would be much more easily for me to devise a proper treatment."
"We're doing what we can, Doctor." The tiredness was evident in Chakotay voice.
"Commander, if I may - you need sleep. You can't stand watch on the bridge all day and then spend all night here in sickbay. You know, the Captain wouldn't want you to exert yourself that way."
"Look, Doctor, I appreciate your concern, but..."
"Kim to Commander Chakotay," a hail from the bridge interrupted First Officer's angry response.
"Go ahead, Ensign."
"Commander, the ion trail we've been following has ended. It just vanished. We scanned the area and there's just nothing there. No ships on long range sensors, either," everybody could clearly hear apprehension in Harry's voice.
"Keep scanning, Ensign. Reroute additional power to sensors and Astrometrics. We must find these aliens. Chakotay out."
"Commander, there's more," said the Doctor sadly. "During those quasi-REM periods, Captain's synaptic paths are slightly degrading. We cannot wait too long with the treatment.
"Doctor, do whatever you can to help her. I won't accept failure. We must consider we won't find this aliens. You're on your own for now."
"Aye, aye," answered the EMH quietly.
Commander Chakotay was pacing the bridge. He was driving the entire bridge staff crazy, but no one dared to say a word. Thanks to B'Elanna's skills, full power was restored, so they were able to scan more space. However despite their efforts, the aliens which attacked the Captain remained elusive. Voyager retraced the shuttle's course, but it also turned out fruitless. They waited for a miracle.
When first of the crew assigned for the gamma shift stepped out of the turbolift to take over their stations, Chakotay decided he's been on the bridge long enough. Kathryn needed him in sickbay. He went to his quarters to shower and change into a fresh uniform and went straight to her.
It was late in the night when B'Elanna entered sickbay. She nodded to the Doctor and went to the Captain's biobed.
"How is she?"
"No change, B'Elanna," Chakotay answered sadly.
"You know, it's all my..."
"It's not your fault, Torres. Stop beating yourself about it. You couldn't predict it, you couldn't stop it."
"It's not your fault, too," responded B'Elanna softly. "You need to eat and sleep. Go get some rest, I'll stay with her for the night."
"I can't leave her side, my friend. She needs me. I can feel it." Frustration was evident in his voice.
"I'll send Neelix with some food. I'll make sure it's edible."
Chakotay nodded absent-mindedly.
"She'll recover, we must believe that," whispered B'Elanna, leaving the Commander to his silent vigil.
It was the middle of a battle. Kathryn was running low with her phaser rifle, shouting orders. The enemy's created some sort of dampening field in the area, effectively cutting off all communications with the ship. The away team was outnumbered and outgunned. It was a nightmare. Suddenly Janeway heard a scream. She turned around and froze. Chakotay had been shot. She ran to him, but it was too late. He was dead. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't have died. Not him. Terror paralyzed her as she stared at his dead body. She felt the world had closed on her. She realized she loved him, she couldn't lose him. She never heard the shouts around her. Suddenly everything went dark.
Chakotay was roused from his restless slumber by a loud screech of biobed's monitor. The Doctor appeared immediately by his side. He scanned Kathryn and injected her with something.
"The Captain had another dream, Commander," said the EMH to the frightened man. "I don't know how much more she can take. Her synaptic pathways are rapidly degrading. She won't hold on much longer."
"Doctor, there has to be a way to save her. Help her, please," pleaded Chakotay quietly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I can't lose her," he thought. "I love her."
"I'm doing my best, Commander."
"This time it's not enough."
The Doctor stared at his monitor. He had checked every method from his database, even invented couple of new ones. Every time the simulations had the same result - fatal cardiac arrest. There was just no way to wake the Captain. It's a miracle she had survived five hours in the shuttle without any life support. The EMH stood up. That was it! Each and every time when they tried to rouse her, they stimulated her brain functions. Damaged synaptic patterns must've 'sensed' the interference and reacted to it like to another threat, pushing the Captain further into coma and causing a cardiac arrest. If they cut her from the life support when she started her next dream, that extra synaptic activity alone should be enough to wake her... The Doctor went to his simulations with new energy.
"Excuse me, Commander, she should be starting her next dream any minute," the hologram said to very tired Chakotay. "I'm going to cut her from the life support the moment she enters her REM-like cycle."
That certainly got the big man's attention.
"What, are you crazy, Doctor?"
"Easy, Commander. I think it's the only way to save her life. I wouldn't suggest it if it wasn't the only way."
"I trust you, Doctor. Do what you have to," he said, although he didn't look convinced.
"She's entering the cycle, cutting down life support," informed the EMH.
Chakotay took her hand and pleaded softly, "Come on, Kathryn, come back to me. Open your eyes..."
"Her vital signs are destabilizing, we're losing her... Reinitializing the life supp... No, it's working. I think she's coming around!" exclaimed a suddenly ecstatic EMH.
Kathryn heard voices above her. Someone was calling her. She concentrated on the voice. She felt someone holding her hand. She tried to open her eyes, but she was too tired. She tried to speak.
"Wha... What's going on?" she said with weak, barely audible voice.
"It's okay, Kathryn. Take it easy. You're safe now."
"Chakotay?"
"Yes, Kathryn. It's me. You're safe now. You need rest."
"Yes, I'm tired..."
"Go to sleep now, Kathryn. I'll be there when you wake again."
"Yes... Thank you," she whispered, and fell asleep.
The Doctor scanned her, and satisfied with results went to his office. He didn't see a lone tear which escaped the Commander's eye.
The End
A sequel to this story you can find here.
I'd love some feedback.